September 8, 2022

A Brief Reflection on Tradition

The Queen of England, Queen Elizabeth II died today. A human being, an icon, an archetype. Its the end of an era. Her reign, the monarchy, politics, and world affairs inspire a lot of interest and uncertainty with such an event.  I’m not qualified to speak on much what comes next and what it means, but there is another reason why so many are drawn to the monarchy.

To many the attraction to the royal family is to its pomp and circumstance. Its spectacle. Its tradition. Its tradition on a mega scale. A good many of us here in the states have traditions with our families and perhaps its an aspirational yet relatable spectacle. 

Perhaps your family doesn’t wear 25ft trains on your wedding gowns as the late Princess Diana did, but instead you have a lace handbag each woman has carried on her wedding day for generations.  Native American peoples are the only ones who have more than a couple of generations, maybe four, in this country. Queen Elizabeth II was the queen of England for an entire third of the United States’ countryhood at this point. Its incredible to think of how young our country is. Leaders here change every four to eight years, let alone 70! Its hard to gather perspective on that. 

All that history aside, there is this thing we have with tradition. Personally I have mixed feelings and experiences with tradition. In some ways, making Corn and Oyster Casserole served in a particular silver tray at Thanksgiving allows me to feel connected to family gone long ago. Some of whom I’ve never met. It can be a beautiful way to be connected and feel a part of something special larger than ourselves.

Issues can arise though. Traditions a shadow side. They can be a means to gatekeep people out of the collective, be it family or community. A symbol of who is in and who is out. They can be used as initiation rites bestowed only on those deemed worthy. The holder of the traditions can keep members of a family alienated by not incorporating them into the tradition. Or only bestow benefits of the tradition on certain family members. 

Traditions freeze a moment in time. They can keep us stuck. We can be so focused on keeping to the same rituals that we don’t stop to ask if the intention of the tradition still holds true today. Are the people in our lives that we celebrate and commune with today equally touched and included by the traditions we practice? Or have we outgrown or evolved past those that just don’t hold up as a part of our lives today? Is it time to rethink, adjust or evolve our traditions?

Incredibly fulfilling, connecting us to those separated from us by time and distance, traditions remind us of happy times we’ve had with those we care about. They can also be used to alienate us or keep us from evolving to the next best version of ourselves, our families, and our communities. As people close to the Queen mourn and those in the community sort the feels associated with their proximity to her power, it may be a good opportunity for us to consider the traditions in our own lives. Do they still serve to connect us and touch our souls or are they alienating us? We can be intentional and even subtle to shift or filter out pieces of our traditions and update them to be inclusive and based in love and connection.

     xoxo, love

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